Today I begin Chapter 24 of this book called LIFE! I am so blessed beyond measure. I start off 24 with a fancy new job title and a raise (come through financial blessing)!
Now it's not what I expect to be making but it was a huge increase and a lot higher than the industry standard. If I save right, I will be out of my parent's house soon.
But this blog isn't about my raise. It's about the 24 years I have lived on this planet and the lessons and mistakes I have learned along the way. That's not to say I won't make more but thought I'd share just a few with you all.
1. Give yourself credit for all the awesomeness that you are.
In my previous post, The Post Graduate Sunken Place, I talked about my accomplishments in college. It wasn't until I laid all of that information out for my therapist, that I realized, "I'm that bitch."
I usually shy away from talking about myself and my accomplishments. Why? I'm not entirely sure. But I've learned, no one will gas you up better than yourself. You have been blessed with talents and skills that separate you from the rest! Don't diminish your light out fear of outshining someone else. If you poppin, be poppin. There's enough space for everyone to shine bright.
2. Acknowledge your own pain and struggles.
Sis! Just because someone else might be going through something that's significantly worse than your situation does not diminish or minimize your struggles. What you're going through may not be a bad someone else but it's bad enough for you. There is no one size fits all struggle. God gives everyone what they can individually handle. I used to stay so silent about everything I had been through. Throwing on a smile, staying strong, when I really didn't have to. I was so focused on being perfect and supporting others during their struggles that I forgot I needed my own support. I had to let go of the fear of judgement and let people know, "Hey I'm going through some fucked up shit too." Once, I realized that, going through the pain got a lot easier.
3. Forgive yourself!
Okay. So after I acknowledge my struggles, I also acknowledge the part I played in getting myself into certain situations. The self blame was real.
Yes I knew better in some situations but continued the bad behavior anyway! But guess what, I made it through. I took the test that was in front of me and I conquered it. We always talk about how we have to forgive others for closure but never talk about how hard it is to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we make. I've found that it's so much easier to forgive someone else but I will beat myself up for my own personal mistakes. I didn't find closure in a situation when I forgave someone that hurt or betrayed me. I found it once I forgave myself for staying or allowing that person to hurt me. We all make mistakes playa. Give yourself a break.
4. Everyone doesn't deserve your support!
Lemme say it again for the people in the back!
EVERYONE! DOES! NOT! DESERVE! YOUR! SUPPORT!!!!!!
In year 23, I joined an organization to help raise money for a very worthy women's cause. I held events, asked for very small amounts of money, etc. But I say most of the support come from those who weren't that close to me! It was strange because I would try my hardest to make it to everyone's party or shindig, buy from someone's business, whatever! You got a hustle going on, I tried to support it. But even with my blog, I'm not sure how many people are truly riding with me. So I've decided to stop wasting my energy on those who choose not to help me out or go out of their way to support my endeavors. I got a few people that read the blog or share and interact with posts. I got people who I know have my back without a doubt. Those are the people I am going to put my energy into. This shit is a two way street. You give and you get. If you want my support, you gotta work for it.
5. Run your own race and stop competing!
If blogging has taught me anything, it's to be in competition only with yourself. It's so easy to see what the next person is doing and stepping up your game to match their success. No! Stop that! AHT AHT!
Don't worry about what the next chick is doing. Put on your blinders and run your own race. You are uniquely you. I know that sounds cliche but the only person you need to be concerned about being better than is the person you were yesterday. Be in competition with yourself. No one else can be you, so focus on being the best (insert your name) that ever lived.
6. Finally, Love yourself!
I know you're like "Bitch! You wrote all of this to end with this major cliche?" Yes. Yes I did.
I've spent most of my life trying to please others, hoping that it would make them love me more. Giving away every piece of me in the process. Nope! No more. Loving yourself sounds like an easy enough task but trust me the execution is hard af! I literally has to pick up the pieces of me, ask for a few back from some people, or even create new ones to replace the parts that no longer fit into my puzzle.
I've always had low self-esteem. I've never been the girl guys trip over themselves for. But at this point.....
In my mind, I'm cute af! I love my face. I've fallen in love with parts of my body I used to be ashamed of. I've fall in love with my hair and taken the proper steps to make it healthy. I'm serving looks on the daily! But it's not just the outside I've fallen in love with. I love the joy that is radiating from within. I'm not saying the transformation is complete but I think I'm at a pretty good place in the journey.
I believe you can never truly love someone else unless you love yourself first. You will never truly be satisfied if you depend on outside sources for the ultimate love that you can give yourself.
Sooooooo! Happy Birthday to me!
I'm excited to see what blessings fall into my life in Year 24. I ready to receive them all.
The Nomadic Blogger is The Blog About Nothing. Created on the idea of networking and promotion through sisterhood, The Nomadic Blogger makes her home on the platforms of other established bloggers. Through guest blogging, The Nomadic Blogger hopes to spread her world views and messages while bringing attention to her #SisterBloggers. Follow #TheNomadicBlogger's journey on Facebook and Instagram.